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1000 Questions for couples
what you must know about your partner for success.
Save Your Marriage
Relationship
Books
Finding
the Love of your Life - CD Relationship Coaching Series from eHarmony
DatingChatDirectory
Free Chatrooms and Dating Sites
- free personals, and dating sites
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| Do
you dream about having a relationship or marriage that is full
of love, respect, and safety? Then you are like most of
us. Have you tried to make it happen only to be dating again
or stuck in a relationship that seems to be dragging you down
rather than energizing you? The good relationships do not magically
happen, contrary to our wishes. They are built by two fully
developed people who have skills and willingness to make it
work. Here are some tips from
our ebook that will provide you with the relationship advice
and skills that are proven to help people develop the kind of
relationships they want. Take our relationship self-assessment
to see where you can improve. |
Relationship
Self Assessment
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Contrary
to popular belief, making relationships and marriages work, requires
skills and strategies. Though attraction and romance are important
and exciting, if we rely on these to make relationships work we
may be disappointed in the long-term. We have years of experience
seeing what works and what doesn't, to create and maintain fulfilling,
loving relationships. The relationship advice on this site comes
straight from the clinical office where I have worked with couples
for over ten years. This advice is an accumulation of ideas that
have come from looking at what is common for all successful couples.
There are also several resources on the left, that together with
the relationship advice in the Ebook, can help you have the relationships
you want.
Relationship
Self-assessment:
- I
accept the other person completely as they are in this moment.
- I
respect other's perceptions and feelings even if I don't agree
with them.
- I
work to make my life great outside of the relationship.
- I
spend very little energy trying to get the other person to change.
- I
really listen to understand, not to respond. I listen for the
feelings rather than the content.
-
I express myself without being hurtful. *See section on anger
management.
- I
consciously choose to be with this person, it is not a dependency.
- I
am not trying to get childhood needs met through this relationship.
*See section on Childhood abuse
and the following book: Getting
the Love You Want.
- I
know that love is a verb and requires actions not just feelings.
- I
have no tolerance for verbal, physical or sexual abuse.
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I have great self-worth/esteem.
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I want my partner to be free and to enjoy their life outside of
me.
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I admire the person I am with beyond physical attraction. I hold
no lasting resentment toward my partner.
Answering
yes to these questions and following our relationship
tips will help you do the following in your relationship/marriage:
- Teach
you how to truly love someone beyond just saying "I
love you". Remember that love is action and requires
effort.
- How
to develop your own life so you are not dependent on others
for your sense of worth, and are able to give in a relationship.
- Stop
trying to get the other person to change and use that energy
to improve yourself.
- Develop
communication skills that you probably don't use very often
to avoid doing damage in the relationship.
- Make
sure your childhood does not negatively affect your current
relationships. See article
- Have
great self-esteem and avoid abuse in relationships.
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Here
are some tips to make it happen
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